Battle of the Sexes
Season One, Episode Sixteen
Episode Guide
"It Takes Two"
"I Love You"
Battle of the Sexes is the sixteenth chapter in the Glee fanfic, Don't Stop Believin'.


The boys and girls will feud over which group will have a group number in Regionals, thus a mash-off is held. Cole and Franklin continues to feud over Grace.


"WHAT?!" everybody shouted

"You guys heard right, The Jessie St. James is directing a club that we'll be going up against in Regionals."  Kylene explained

"This isn't good" Mercedes said frantically

"What are you guys so afraid of Jessie St. James?" Tim asked curiously

"If you should know, he was the star of Vocal Adrenaline while he was on high school" Rachel said

"And he was the director when he flunked college" Unique added

"Fair enough" Tim shrugged

"So Kylene, what club is Jessie directing?" Gregory asked

"The Trouble Belles" Kylene replied "Their a girl group, and if I might add they're actually pretty good."

"This is just great" Cole sighed "First, a British group of fairies and now a girl group that will probably perform a Rihanna song wearing thongs and pasties"

"Listen you abominable twat." Franklin said, earning "ooh's" from everyone "Before you judge the competition you should see what they can actually do"

"Oh, we've seen what One Direction can do." Ruby said

"Their not actually that good" Kitty added

"Well, we've seen what The Trouble Belles can do." Tim said

"Yeah, all they do is twerk and grind on each other on stage." Jake retorded

"That's just shows that guys are better than girls." Cole said

"Woah! Rewind and remix!" Unique said

"I said GUYS are better than GIRLS." Cole said "Live with it."

"I will cut a bitch!" Marley yelled

"Enough!" Finn yelled, standing up from his seat "All this fighting leaves us no choice"

Rachel stood up from her chair "You guys are doing a mash-off."

"What's a mash-off?" Cole asked dumbfounded

"It's when two groups perform a mash-up head to head, dumbshit" Franklin rolled his eyes

"You guys know the drill, boys vs girls" Mercedes said

"Alright! Group up!" Finn yelled then clapped his hands "Boys at the auditorium. Girls here at the choir room."

Kylene's POV:

Wow. This is frustrating as fuck. We are screwed. Nobody in this room can think of a mash-up good enough to kick the boys' asses. But with Franklin on the other side we won't stand a chance against them, he is like the King of Mash-Ups. We truly are screwed.

"How about we do Roar mashed-up with Applause?" Kitty suggested

"No. I just don't see that working." I said

"How about Wrecking Ball and The Climb?" Marley suggested

"That's just horrible" Grace said

"How about Super Bass and We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together?" Unique suggested

"Now that's just bullcrap" Ruby said

"Girls! Put your thinking tiaras on! We can not let the boys win!" I yelled standing up from my seat

"Why?" Grace asked

"Didn't you hear what Cole just said?!" I yelled

"I did." Grace said

"Great! Now throw more suggestions!" I yelled

"How about we do, Heart Attack by Demi Lovato mashed-up with..." Grace trailed off

"I Knew You We're Trouble!" Ruby exclaimed completing Grace's sentence

"And to top it up! We should do a circus themed performance!" Unique exclaimed out of nowhere

"I think we just found our mash-up" I said with a smirk.

No One's POV:

The boys along with the alumnis are in the auditorium to watch the girl's performance, Kylene then enters the stage

"Before we go to our performance, I would just like to warn everyone that no animals or person we're harmed during the performance. So enjoy"

Marley, Kitty and Kylene:

Puttin’ my defences up

‘Cause I don’t wanna fall in love

If I ever did that

I think I’d have a heart attack 

The curtains suddenly opened revealing a circus-themed stage, Ruby came out holding fire torches on both of her hands

Ruby (Grace):

Once upon a time a few mistakes ago

I was in your sights, you got me alone

You found me, you found me, you found me

(Never had trouble getting what I want)

I guess you didn't care, and I guess I liked that

And when I fell hard you took a step back

Without me, without me, without me

(Then make 'em bounce like a basketball) 

Grace: But you make me wanna act like a girl

Paint my nails and wear high heels

Yes, you make me so nervous

And I just can’t hold your hand

You make me


I knew you were trouble when you walked in 


But I cover up won’t let it show 


Flew me to places I'd never been 


Puttin’ my defences up

'Cause I don’t wanna fall in love

If I ever did that

Ruby with New Directions Girls (Grace):

Now I'm lying on the cold (Attack!)

Trouble, trouble, trouble (I think I’d have a heart attack) 

Grace (Ruby with New Directions Girls):

I think I'd have a heart attack

(Oh, oh) The feelings are lost in my lungs

(Oh, oh) They’re burning, I’d rather be numb

(Oh, oh) Yeah, there’s no one else to blame

(Oh, oh) So scared I take off in a run

(Oh, oh) I’m flying too close to the sun

(Oh, oh) And I burst into flamesYou make me

Ruby (Grace):

And the saddest fear comes creeping in

That you never loved me or her, or anyone, or anything 


So I'm puttin’ my defences up

‘Cause I don’t wanna fall in love

If I ever did that I think I'd have a heart  

Ruby with New Directions Girls (Grace):

(Attack!) I knew you were trouble when you walked in

So shame on me now

Flew me to places I'd never been (Heart attack!)

'Til you put me down, oh

I knew you were trouble when you walked in (Unique: You were right there, you were right there)

So shame on me now (Oh! I think I'd have a heart attack!)

Flew me to places I'd never been (Marley: Oooohh)

Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground

Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble (I think I'd have a heart attack!)

Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble (I think I'd have a heart attack!)

I knew you were trouble when you walked in

Trouble, trouble, trouble (Ohh! I think I'd have a heart attack!)

I knew you were trouble when you walked in

Trouble, trouble, trouble

After the performance the each fired confetti cannons, all the alumnis we're on their feet applauding

"We are in trouble" Cole said, clapping nervously

"I hate you as fuck, but you're right" Franklin said with a nervous tone

Franklin's POV:

The girls we're amazing! Seriously their performance was like a Grammy performance, so I need to think of a perfect mash-up to beat the girl's performance. But there's a voice in my head saying that I shouldn't. Weird right?

I slammed my locker in frustration "God, this is hard!"

"Hi, Franklin" Blaine said

"Oh hey, Blaine" I said with a confused tone "What do you want?"

"I think I really know you" Blaine said "Like I've seen you somewhere, I just can't put my finger on it"

"Well actually you can, so you can get stretched up for-" I started

"That's not what I meant" Blaine said shooking his head

I blushed "Oh my god, i'm such a pervert. I'm sorry."

"No, it's fine." Blaine said, then placed a hand on his chin "I got it! You're with the One Direction! I saw you last time."

"What are you talking about?" I asked in confusion, I think my cover is blown

"You we're with them, like 2 weeks ago." Blaine said "I followed you in Cloverfield High School and saw you rehersing with them. Are you spy?"

"No, I have a twin" I lied "An identical twin"

"I'm so sorry" Blaine said

"He died last week" I lied again, I started fake sniffing "I miss so much"

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry" Blaine said then gave me a comforting hug. God, I feel horrible for lying

"It's fine, really" I said "I need to get going, brainstorming sessions"

"Oh right" Blaine said "Well, you guys are in for a fight"

"I know" I said "See you around"

God, that was close

Peter's POV (Surprise, bitches!):

We are in trouble...trouble, trouble, trouble

"Did you see what they just did?!" Jake blasted

"I can't believe it!" Ryder retorded

"They used lions, tigers and elephants!" Timothy yelled

"I can't believe they did fire dancing!" Jake complained

"SHUT UP!" Cole yelled "Okay we need to think of a mash-up that's bold, epic and also swag-tastic."

"Ugh, how about Love More by Chris Brown feat. Nicki Minaj and Boyfriend by Justin Bieber?" Timothy suggested

"That sounds stupid! Nobody in this room can rap Nicki Minaj" Cole yelled

"Franklin can" I retorded

"Who cares?" Cole said, I just rolled my eyes. Prick

"How about The Fray?" Jake suggested

"I said we need a bold mash-up not a depressing mash-up." Cole said.

"The Fray is not a depressing band!" Jake protested

"Fine. Any other ideas?" Cole said, rubbing his temples

"Guys, I think we should a weak mash-up." Franklin said, out of nowhere

"Weak mash-up? What! Are you stupid?!" Cole exploded with anger

"Would you shut the fuck up and listen to me for a minute, Coleen.

"Yeah, give him a chance." Gregory said, going to Franklin's side

"Thanks Greg. Like I said a weak mash-up. Cole, you're thinking crap and you want to do gimmicks with this mash-up like the girls did with their circus-themed mash-up." Franklin said "We don't need gimmicks. This competing shit turned y'all stupid. So this is what I suggest Little Things and Truly Madly Deeply by One Direction. No lions, no tigers, no confetti cannons or anything else. Just music, our voices, couple of stools and Greg's ratchet guitar playing."

"Then it's settled. Franklin, you can perform your weak mash-up alone while us guys will perform B.o.B's Magic mashed-up with Every Little Thing She Does is Magic by The Police. Anyone wanna join Franklin?" Cole said

"I would" Greg said crossing his arms to his chest

"Anyone else?" Cole asked

"I'll join them" I said standing up

"Peter, what the hell?!" Cole yelled

"You know what, i'm sick of you." I said shoving him "You keep bossing us around eventhough you're not the male lead." I said then ran a hand to my blonde hair "But i'm done. I'm fucking done listening to you, Cole. Franklin! Gregory!"

"Yes sir?" Franklin and Gregory said in unison looking very scared

"Let's go! I'm done with Cole's shit." And with that me, Greg and Franklin left the choir room

Gregory's POV:

What the hell just happened in there? I just watched one of the sweetest person I've ever met get mad, sweet Peter James Flint just got mad. That's something new

"I can't believe that prick!" Peter yelled slamming his fist into a locker

"That's my locker, Peter" Franklin said

"Sorry" Peter muttered "I just bloody hate Cole so much! He's so bossy and he's really getting on my nerves."

"Wow, I never realized that you talk like that" I said

"And you're Irish?" Franklin asked

"Yeah, I'm just hiding my accent, mate" Peter said with his obvious Irish accent

"You think you can help me with hiding my accent?" Franklin asked

"Why do you wanna hide your British accent? It's awesome" I asked

"Sometimes it's getting irritating" Franklin said "So what's the plan?"

"Well the three of us are gonna perform your idea against Cole's group" Peter smirked

No One's POV:

"Before we begin, I would just like to inform y'all that you better be prepared for some magic" Cole said. Franklin rolled his eyes at him


I got the magic in me

Everytime I touch that track it turns into gold

Everybody knows I've got the magic in me

When I hit the flow the girls come snappin' at me

Now everybody wants a blast of magic

(Cole) Jake and Bree with Tim and Ryder

Magic, magic, magic

(Every thing she does is) Magic, magic, magic

(Everything she does is) Magic, magic, magic

Ah ooooooo

I got the magic in me!


Though I've tried before to tell her

Of the feelings I have for her in my heart

Every time that I come near her

I just lose my nerve

As I've done from the start

Bree and Tim with Ryder and Jake: (Cole):

Every little thing she does is magic (I got the magic, baby)

Everytime I touch that track it turns into gold (Yes it turns to gold)

Even though my life before was tragic (I got the magic, baby)

When I hit the flow the girls come snappin' at me (They be snappin' baby)

Now everybody wants a blast of magic

Ryder and Cole:

Magic, magic, magic

Magic, magic, magic

Magic, magic, magic

Ah oooooooo

I got the magic in me!


Well take a journey into my mind

You'll see why it's venom I rhyme

Stay on the road, so I call my mama when I got time

I hit the stage, go insane, then jump into that crowd


See, see, when I rhyme

I flow on the beat like pidda-dow-dow

See I decieve you with my intergalactic ether

I sing just like Aretha, so respect me like

I'm Caesar

I kick it like Adidas, flowin' sticky like adhesive


Do I have to tell the story

Of a thousand rainy days since we first met

It's a big enough umbrella

But it's always me that ends up getting wet

Cole (Jake, Bree, Ryder and Tim):

I got the magic in me (I got the magic, baby)

Everytime I touch that track it turns into gold (Yes it turns to gold)

Everybody knows I've got the magic in me (I got the magic, baby)

When I hit the flow the girls come snappin' at me (They be snappin' baby)

Now everybody wants

Cole and Bree (Tim):

A blast of magic, magic, magic (Every little thing she does is)

Magic,magic,magic (Everything she do just turns me on)

Magic,magic,magic (Even though my life before was tragic)

Ah oooooooo


I got the magic in me!

After the performance everybody cheered for them. Franklin was clapping with a sarcastic smile on his face

"I loved your performance Cole but I'm a little curious" Franklin said "Why is their a black hooker involved in the performance?" Franklin asked reffering to Bree

"Franklin that's enough" Kitty said

"Okay" Franklin sighed

"One question though, why isn't Franklin, Peter and Greg involved in the performance?" Mercedes curiously asked

"Because we have a mash-up of our own" Peter said standing up with Franklin and Greg

They sat infront, Greg was holding a guitar placed on his lap. He started playing Little Things


Your hand fits in mine

Like it's made just for me But bear this in mind

It was meant to be

And I'm joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks

And it all makes sense to me


Like all those days and weeks and months 

I tried to steal a kiss

And all those sleepless nights and daydreams where I pictured this

I'm just the underdog who finally got the girl

And I am not ashamed to tell it to the world

Gregory and Peter:

I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth

But if I do

It's you

Oh, it's you they add up to

I'm in love with you

And all these little things 


You can't go to bed without a cup of tea

And maybe that's the reason that you talk in your sleep

And all those conversations are the secrets that I keep

Though it makes no sense to me 


Wish I could freeze this moment in a frame and stay like this

I'll put this day back on replay and keep reliving it

'Cause here's the tragic truth if you don't feel the same

My heart would fall apart if someone said your name

'Franklin and Peter':

I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth

But if it's true

It's you,It's you they add up toI'm in love with you

And all these little things


You'll never love yourself half as much as I love you

And you'll never treat yourself right, darling, but I want you to.

If I let you know I'm here for you

Maybe you'll love yourself like I love you, oh. 

Franklin and Peter (With Gregory):

Truly, madly, deeply, I am

Foolishly, completely falling

And somehow you caved all my walls in

So baby, say you'll always keep me

Truly, madly, crazy deeply in love (In love) with you

(With you),In love (In love) with you (With you)

In love (In love) with you (With you)

With you, oh!

And all your little things


Song Title Original Artist Performer(s)
I Knew You We're Trouble/Heart Attack Taylor Swift/Demi Lovato New Directions Girls
Magic/Every Little Thing She Does is Magic B.o.B feat. Rivers Cuomo/The Police Cole St. Clair, Bree Roccerson, Ryder Lynn,       Jake Puckerman, and Timothy Jefferson
Little Things/Truly Madly Deeply One Direction Franklin Montgomery, Gregory Hanford, and, Peter Cliff